Charlywalker's Blog

{November 10, 2009}   Let Sleeping Blog’s Lie

My puppy is asleep now. I love when he’s asleep and curled up in front of the fire just like a Norman Rockwell painting. Oh wait, that is a Norman Rockwell painting. My pup doesn’t curl up into a ball when he sleeps. He is outstretched on his back with his forpaws bent in a begging position and his hind legs tapping the air as if he’s playing the  organ foot pedals at St Pat’s Cathedral. Maybe he’s dreaming , I understand dog’s dream. What exactly, is a wonder of science and maybe we should donate research money to find out. Right now I would guess Charly is dreaming about Donnie Osmond’s quick step on dancing with the stars. His back feet are in motion and timely I might ad. His paw rhythm is accompanied by deep breathing, an occasional snort, a glowing smile, followed by a bark interruptus.  This sound usually brings his head to an upright position as he surveys his surroundings to see if anyone filmed him to post on You-Tube. When he sees the coast is clear his head lowers and resumes his REM. With one eye open. Dog’s must be light sleepers. I could never be a dog. I love sleep, uninterrupted, I’m in a coma right now, never wake me unless a fire, kind of sleep. Not Charly, he sleeps with one eye open, One Big Round Eye open, as if he’s going to miss something. Like a small gnat whizzing past on a nonstop flight to the fruit bowl.Or the light buzz from the laundry room letting you know the dryers finished; every five minutes. Or the “click” of the front door lock as a family member comes home from school. He lies there in his slumber dead to the world singing his canine chorus , so at peace with the world, so calm and under his own guise. However, it is all a guise, he can leap like Yoda in a single bound from a single sound. Just when I thought I could catch a break and Blog while he’s resting, he hears the crackling of a potato chip bag which my son is opening at least five rooms away. You see, any bag that crackles when it opens makes the same sound as a puppy Pup-e-roni snack bag. Again, Ninja dog shows up in the dark at your feet, Big Eyes Wide Open. That canine that was in a coma five minutes ago has been lying to us all along. He doesn’t sleep, he lies there making mockery of down time. I asked the Established Vet about this;  Puppies and their Sleeping Habits. Again the reassuring educational vetinarian-ism had its embellished impact: ” Oh they’ll do that, puppies are up one minute and down the next. Don’t miss our featured puppy chew-toys at the check-out counter.”..Cha-ching! Well I know that when Cats are hyped up they are given cat nip and I’ve seen cats that never move an inch during a Southern California earthquake. I think we need something equivalent for puppies. They must have doggie downers somewhere in the giant Pet Super Colossal Mart. Probably have to have a prescription for it. Just like when our puppy had loose poop and the Established Vet had to give us prescribed canned chicken and rice for his diarhea. I said: “Let me get this straight, you have to give us a prescription for a can good that I have seen in the grocery store brought to you by Campbell’s ?” This is some kind of specialty blending of chicken and rice that only the Vet elite are privy to and is FDA regulated.?? This can only be purchased with a prescription via the Vet and it’s ingredients are chicken and Rice. Yep. What is this going to cost me? Is there a store coupon I can apply toward purchase? Is it one can per household? Is this chicken and rice a controlled substance? I understand if you substitute turkey with the tryptophan an all….
Maybe they need THAT chemical to help sleeping dog’s Lie…...m-mmm-good!

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