I’m feeling a bit Blah today. Maybe I should blog in blue text. I don’t know why I feel this way, it could be the rainy weather and grey skies or it could be the extreme pile up of exams coming to an end, or it could be my hormones kicking in or out whichever happens at the age of fifty. My dog appears to have the case of the Blahs today as well, I don’t think it’s related to his hormones. Do dog’s have hormones? Do they have a teeny tiny pituitary gland controlling their breasts and mood swings? Do they yearn to devour everything in the doggie fridge and then go postal with the mailman. Do they experience doggie night sweats and have to change their puppy pads every evening? Do they lose bodily functions at inopportune moments? Do they experience vaginal dryness? Oh wait I have a male dog. That would fall under E.D. and viagra along with Bob Dole. I don’t think doggie’s have menopause otherwise it would be called mutt mid life crisis, or doggie delay, or Fido fallopian fault line,or canine conversion, or men-0-PAWS, or Bitch. ouch.
My puppy is too young to have these symptoms and will never reach the age of fifty ( in dog years). My puppy is too young to have feelings of Blah and moodiness. He seemed rather sedate today for some unknown reason. He spent the day curled up on his lion mat resting and watching the lawn grow out back. Maybe he’s suffering from depression. Maybe the grey skies are getting to him and he’s suffering from a vitamin D deficiency. Maybe I should take him to a tanning booth. I’ll grab some doggie goggles and strap them over his ears and spike his fur with a bottle of instant tan lotion. Yeah, maybe that will perk him up a little. I hope he’s not setting into depression. Do dog’s get depressed? Maybe he misses the trailer park and his siblings that were ripped out of their mothers paws and sold on the market for fifty bucks. Maybe he’s been traumatized by the separation and is suffering from P T S. (Post Trailer-park separation). Maybe I should take him to a Pet Psychiatrist, oh, wait, I recall my Established Vet had puppy psych eval’s on the menu. I’m sure she would just prescribe a poochie prozac and cajole me into another purchase in the gift shop. I’m not use to seeing my pup sleep all day long. It worries me. Wait, maybe it’s a growth spurt. Yeah, when my kids were infants they slept all day and when they awoke they were a foot taller and ten pounds heavier. Come to think of it my dog does look a little thicker and taller and his bobble head is in conjunct with his sausage body. Oh my little pup is getting all growed up and everything. I’m getting verklempt. He’s not feeling blue he’s just getting bigger and maturing and turning into a fine young pedigree. Oh I am so proud and grateful that he is not depressed and I’m going right over to his lion mat and and hug the daylights out of him. Maybe that’s the answer to menopause! We women over fifty are having a growth spurt in various directions and we just need to find a comfy spot to lie down and have someone hug the bee jesus out of us and pet our bleached bobble heads. Oh Joy!
Hey Charly, go fetch mommie’s xanax out of her purse… that’s a good puppy…