Charlywalker's Blog

{December 25, 2009}   Best in Blog

I’ve been advised to socialize my puppy as early as possible. What does this entail? Should I have my son take him to his high school mixer? Maybe my daughter will let him join her and her boyfriend for dinner and a show?  I suppose Charly could come with me to have lunch with the girls, I have an extra set of pearls. How, what, and who do I socialize a five month old puppy with? Other puppies of his age group? Do I mingle him with mutts of the opposite sex? One EDO takes her pups to a dog park. I guess these are pre-established areas for animals that are divided into size sections.  Once a really big dog got mixed into the teeny tiny dog area and all hell broke loose. Most of the scuffle was between the owners of these pets. Each was claiming” their right to enter wherever they please”, and that “there should not be discrimination in these parks with regards to size and romp area”. I think it ended with the fire department being summoned along with a cop car that had their own canine unit. I guess that dog has jurisprudence at all parks.

So much for socialization ,sounds kind of Marxist to me. Better off calling the Marx brothers. Maybe my puppy doesn’t want to socialize with anyone but us. Is that bad? Maybe the whole point is to have him bark at everyone he sees; doesn’t that make a great watch dog? If he is socialized and out greeting all kinds of people he may not be able to distinguish between the good, bad, and the ugly. Maybe Charly is a loner. Maybe it’s because he was separated from his siblings and parents at 7 weeks and he has a social disorder. Maybe he can’t make friends easily and he’s socially retarded. Maybe I should try to locate his family and set up therapy with Dr. Phil. We could broadcast via Skype. See how each pup made out post adoption. Charly probably has a really successful brother making films in Hollywood and socializing with Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. Getting petted by Suri’s little rich scientology tainted hands. I wonder if dogs join cults or gangs. How could you tell? They have a perennial glaze  over their eyes and they stare at you as if they are about to take you down. I don’t see any tattoo’s on his paws containing three dots or Tres Puntos indicating whether he’s been in the hospital, prison or the grave. I suppose he could spell out L-o-v-e   H-a-t-e on each knuckle if he had any. I bet they do tattooing at the giant Pet Mart. I could see their faces when I stroll in with my cock-cha-cha wearing his bitch beater T shirt and a nose ring requesting some INK. I don’t even think they would bat an eyelash. They would direct me to an aisle without looking up.

I’m finding it difficult to socialize my puppy out here in the middle of nowhere. Our house lies on a hill surrounded by one and a half acres of unfenced lawn. I have to take my dog out on a leash each time I walk him. I don’t think he likes it very much, he keeps trying to bite it and grab it and take me for a walk. I think he is just trying to stress his independence. Personally I think Charly is a loner and likes being that way. I think it is a way of his dealing with separation anxiety from his natural family. Maybe I should call the Maury Povich show and have a doggie reunion and let Charly connect with his mutt siblings. Myabe Maury will foot the bill for the DNA testing.  Maybe the results will indicate that he is not related to the other trailer park pups and was placed in that Graco playpen by default. Maybe Charly was a kidnapped dog and ended up in the bitch black market. Come to think of it I think I did see a likeness profile in the post office next to the ten other convicted felons. And I saw a similar pet show up on the side of a  Carnation milk carton. Hmmm wonder if there’s a reward.  I guess he would be classified as a miscellaneous class and up for a field trial without probation.  Walking the yellow line that he leaves behind every hour.

 Hope the Police aren’t on his tail.. He Loves the bacon …….makes him Po-Po. Walk-ease…

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