I was reading a blog about news and marketing and building your business. I don’t have any of those requirements on my blog. I’m not looking to make money although that would be a great bennie right now. The only market I may qualify for would be the Flea market. I could sell the fleas form Charly’s back to the Flea circus and possibly retire lavishly. I don’t understand how people build business on a web site. I don’t understand how to take an idea to the next lucrative level. My blog doesn’t contain information of a product or service to lure viewers to open their Coach wallets. I guess I could make Puppy CD’s of my dog mimicking the sounds of his squeaky toys. I could try to teach him to bark Mozart’s Symphony No.10 in G Major. Or growl something from the Mills Brothers. Puppy Mill. ouch. Maybe do some Flea-bag rap. Charly-Z, Poop-Dog, Lil Chi-hua-hua, Cay-nine-West, or better yet,PILES. Miles and miles of Piles. Maybe rap is getting outdated and I should turn to a healthier mode of capitalizing. Like a work out DVD. Sweatin’ with the Strays: Pilates with Pluto, Lassie’s Lat’s featuring Astro’s Abs,Golden Oldies with Golden Retrievers, Steel Biscuits, Dance your fat away with the Ballroom Hump, or Skinny Bitch Boot Camp. grrrouch. Sure I’m into making money. I’ll sell out my poochies performance. I can become a stage mongrel’s mommy. Yeah, and when the going gets tough and the agents don’t call and Charly’s down and out in Lavender Hills Lane he can resort to strip clubs. Chipendales, man’s best friend? Canines Cabaret, The Hound House,Bow-wow Bitch Club, or Humptown. Yeah plenty of pleated pants under the counter there. Beggin’ for Bones, yeah baby, grind it. I bet the Blog watchers are tagging now.
Nooooo I will not capitalize on my precious pupster…… unless he bites me again. Then I will sell him to the underground. If I knew where to find it. How does one locate the Underground? Who makes up the Underground? Are they underground? Because if they are and you know the way dogs like to dig up yards………………. Does China have an underground? When I was a kid and would go out to our deserted side lot that remained barren, because my dad enjoyed his scotch more than installing a pool. I would dig deep holes in this yard like I was on an archeological expedition hoping to uncover Lucy first or Atlantis. What I uncovered were different layers of dirt disguised in colors from dark to light. I asked my” always too busy mom in the kitchen”, why the light brown dirt was on the bottom layer and she retorted that: ” I was reaching China”. I believed that for a while. I kept shoveling that gold until I thought I would reach the underground or China, whichever popped up first. Then I got a little nervous because what if I encountered a chinaman during my excavation. I wondered if the hole was large enough to accommodate his pointed paddy hat. I wondered what we would talk about on our first meeting. I wondered if I dug enough of these holes and made numerous discoveries of a multitude of Chinamen………could they possible help me construct a pool?
What? If I had a dog I would’ve sent him out, working for saliva wages, but I would have the Dog Labor Relations on my back. Rotsa-Ruck.