Charlywalker's Blog

{January 7, 2010}   Blog Help Me

I consider myself a spiritual person. I was brought up in an Irish Catholic home. My father was born on St. Patrick’s Day, attended Notre dame College and Notre Dame Law school. My parents were married at the Grotto on the Notre Dame campus. My cousin is the head priest at a prominent Cathedral in Seattle, his sister a nun, an uncle a Monsignor, and the piece de resistance,  some distant relative is a Bishop. Our board is so loaded I think we have enough players to construct a narrow-minded Chess game. Checkmate. I believe in God. But I think there is a deity in disguise. My Dog. If you notice ,dog is God spelled backwards. After all dog’s are considered man’s best friend, they risk their lives for us, ( what, canine units?)  they have comforted our souls, they are capable of the miracle of birth, and all dogs go to Heaven. I have yet to witness them walking on water but they do have a mean doggie paddle. The Dog’s name is used in vain in a few manners; Dog gone it! Dog blast it! Hot Diggity Dog. To err is human to forgive is Canine. I think my puppy is close to the divinity. He has the power to forgive unconditionally, he listens to your confessions without rebuttal, and he is constantly looking upward like the Penitent Dog… Charly runs to my side every time he hears me utter the words, OhGod help me. This is not in prayer form. This is in castigation whenever I grab the floor cleaner chasing a potty mishap.  This has now become a standard thwarted command of some sort and makes him believe that he is a religious figure. His body language becomes his platform for the almighty or some ones Idol. He likes to lie next to me with his front paws extended and bobble head erect carrying his Cleopatra ears like a Sphinx guarding the Pyramid of Cheops. Licking his chops. Sometimes he jumps up in anticipation  to grab a mighty morsel  that misses the garbage as the plate is schlepped from the dinner table. He has actually maintained a bi-ped posture for about five seconds without any crutches to lean on. Charly looks like a little angel when he’s upright. It’s a haze of a white belly fur- comb-over with an undercoating of pink. Like Victoria Secret Pink. The way he dances in circles with his paws in the air as if he’s attending an MC Hammer Revival,well, it just brings you to your knees,… wiping up more accidents.   I think Charly is spiritual. I think he  feels the spirit. I think he feels the movement inside especially after he eats.  I think my pup has an intrinsic closeness to the almighty because their names are a palindrome. What other animal can have that connection with a worshipped being? How about the many gods of Hinduism and all their appendages. An Octopus? Dog’s are a major part of the Kingdom. Thank God Aaron  ran into Little Bo-Peep’s flock when it came to sacrifice time.  Could you imagine what would happen to the dog population if  Toto was the first thing Moses saw coming down from Mt. Saini. Maybe moses wasn’t really talking to God on the mountain, maybe he was up there rescuing a dog in a bush?  “Here I am Dog”. Maybe Moses was dyslexic. Maybe what’s really written on those tablets are The Dog Command-ments.  Thou shall not steel any unoccupied shoes.. Thou shall not covet thy neighbors lawn with poo-poo. I am your One and only owner their shalt not be any owners before me….

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