Charlywalker's Blog

{March 17, 2011}   Looks Like Something the Blog Brought In

Oh boy, here I go again. I think Blog surfing might be hazardous to one’s health.  I am getting sea sick from delusional posts.  If I read one more article about frustrated writers, cleaning strategies, giving up dating, or about a twenty-something year old who can’t cope with life, I may barf on my Macbook like a Pro.

I think Blogger’s are  in need of resurrecting Dear Abby.   Well here I am, hit me with your best shot. Bestow upon me your situation and I will fulfill your most thought out issue with a  retort that deems appropriate…yet not ready for Prime time. I love this public complete’s me. Maybe I need to take life a little more serious , instead of meeting it head on with rolling eyes…

I have been accused of possessing too much humor in my body and not enough compassion. I think I have compassionate humor. I tend to see funny in almost everything.  I once worked for a giant conglomerate corporation in NYC in a management role and was required to attend important staff meetings.  Meetings that were being taught by amateurs fresh out of college who held the world on a string and played with it like a Yo-Yo. There was nothing more important to them than being the best around the word and kissing the highest ass they could reach.

  I tried with all my might to conjure up my corporate capabilities and sit attentively at these meetings looking executive-ly interested in what was being said.  The problem in-le, is that my mind wanders during a long lecture on “percent of sell-through”, and I start to look around the room for props.  One time I managed to make bunny ears appear on the assistant manager as he spoke in front of the projector screen.  My favorite was capturing the pie chart in the alligators jaws as  the shadow of my hands swam by….This use to get a giant gaffaw out of my co- worker.

But, I think the worst of it came when the uncontrollable laughter set in during a colleague’s presentation with  her product.  Every time this woman started a sentence she inhaled deeply and sucked in the entire room air. Her mouth opened so wide you could see her palate vibrating as she sang her proposal. Each time she opened her mouth wider and wider I got a birds eye view into that big cavern with the Uvula swinging like the bells of Notre Dame. I sat there in the second row witnessing her soliloquy about profit and loss and being sprayed with verbiage vibrating from her vocal chords.  When she gasped her conclusion I felt like Jonah getting sucked into that whale of a mouth as she spouted her ending. I leaned forward at every breath and held onto my seat for fear that this mad “Hoover” speaker would inhale my head and aspirate my hair extensions like a fur ball.

Then it hit me.  A giant wave of uncontrollable laughter bellowing out of my pearly whites. Tears were streaming down my cheeks and I found myself gasping for air, if there was any left. My cohort sitting adjacent to me swatted my leg with her folder and told me to “stop” and asked  me what was it that had me peeing my pants in silent laughter.  I quietly explained my observations in between hysteria, and she, too, caught on like wildfire ,and we both grabbed our bellies tight with laughter. Hey, I am not going down in this ship alone.

I know there are times to laugh and times to have composure, but my brain has always had a problem deciphering between the two.  And Yes, I was called into the bosses office to explain my outlandish crack-up and inappropriate behavior during a pressing event.  I couldn’t find the exact words to describe what it was that I watched as this woman spoke and how my imagination took over my Left brain function which set off my merriment – meter and caused the up-roar in my mind.

I didn’t know how the boss would react to explanations of the hilarity of  seeing this woman’s Uvula bounce between her tonsils at the start of every sentence every time she took in a breath of corporate air. How could I tell my boss that my focus factor went astray during company time? How could I tell him that I was finding humor at an inopportune time at the expense of an employees fluttering motor mouth? How do I describe what set my giggle-gene off upsetting an entire team meeting? There is no way out of a perilous self made predicament placed upon oneself except with telling the boss something he might understand:

…….Well ,Sir…..I was drunk?….(with laughter).

I later found out that my boss, too, had a sense of humor……he assigned me to work on another project with Uvula Lady…

Shame on you for stealing corporate time.
My sister and I had a similar laughter attack during our grandmother’s wake. My uncle said something very sad and deep,with mayo spot in the corner of his mouth and hysteria began…
We really liked our grandma – so it was not laughter of relief, she did not leave us anything – so it was not triumph laughter either. I guess it was some strange mechanism of coping?
I totally know what kind of uncontrollable, wild laughter attack you are talking about. 🙂

Thank you Normalstepfather…we had the same experience at my fathers funeral, the best part is that; it would have been the way my father wanted it to go….he had a fantastic sense of humor. I always stress” Leave ’em laughing”…

(I’m losing it right now over the visual of the Mouth Mayo…..)

Thank you for popping in again, always a pleasure.

Emily says:

Spread the humor!!! I love it 🙂

I have two blogs, myself, because I wouldn’t ever want people to be forced to read the stuff I write on one! I feel like a lot of people use blogs as their personal diary made public so they can get some attention… while that may be a good group therapy, I personally don’t enjoy reading it… Sometimes people can make everyday experiences into a deep, insightful thing to share, but a lot of the time it’s just like reading a teen romance novel: sad, uncomfortable, and with an ending suitable for people with low-self-esteem.

We’re all screwed up, so why not get a laugh out of it?

“reading a teen romance novel” that statement. You just summed up my kids teenage angst with a new title..

Screwed is as screwed does…………puts a Gump in your throat.

spread the humor.

SL Jones says:

This incident reminds me of when I was at school.

During a history class the teacher showed us a video on the holocaust (obviously a tragic subject that isn’t in the slightest bit funny). However, the person sat next to me let out a tiny ‘raspberry’ fart, which made me giggle. Then they giggled because I had giggled. Then I giggled some more.

After a while we were both in hysterics, partly because of the awkwardness of trying to suppress laughter during a video on a very solemn subject.

Needless to say, the teacher wasn’t impressed and we both got in trouble – the funny thing was we STILL couldn’t stop laughing, even when the teacher was reprimanding us – who would have thought a humble fart could be so dangerous!

Thank YOU, Thank YOU, THANK YOU….you got the humor!! I love when I can reach out and touch someone in the funny bone.

I had the same thing happen to me….Four Farts and a Funeral….personally, I think God put us here to laugh more….

FYI to the “TWO” male readers who actually took this Post seriously and thought I was really drunk….please read this SL Jones’ comment. I’m making him my poster child for my blog…. spread the humor….it is needed now more than ever.

I can’t start my day at work without at least three shots of Southern Comfort.

iT hells mee mayke shore I ahvoid misssteaks.

Based on the comments I received on this Post it favors women over men…..none of the ladies took it seriously, but I do like the fact it got a rise out of the men. I’ll change the line to the boss to read: “Well, sir..I was Drunk….with laughter.”

Let’s see….how does that saying go…..don’t believe everything you read…,, read between the lines…, yeah..Spread the humor! Thanks for dropping in.

Eh, I think you need to give me a little more credit for recognizing facetiousness when I see it.


OK….only because you can spell facetiousness correctly….

Well … I am afraid i don’t see any sense of humor here. There’s nothing humorous about going to a meeting “drunk” … Sure that woman’s tonsils were bouncing and whatever, but does that entitle you to make fun of her? especially in a room full of people?

Maturity is something sought after, in the business world. To me, what’s more hilarious is a drunk person making a fool out of him/herself. I hope you don’t go into that line and be regretful if a more if your boss didn’t find that funny.

I love your last’s one of my favorite drinks! You missed the one was drunk. But thank you for stopping by Charlywalker’s drunk blog… just gave me an inspiration for a new Post!

spread the humor.

johnlmalone says:

love your sense oh humour, Charlie and your slightly annoying yet strangely endearing manner you set your piece in a block, a block of strange merriment. Some wonderful images

Why thank you for flying charlywalker! I love being slightly annoying and endearing in the same sentence.

Spread the humor..

There’s too much absurdity out there that people take seriously. How can you NOT stop yourself from laughing at it all.

I’d say “you go girl” but that would be way out of place for someone like me to utter. Not my gender or generation. 😉

Thank you for dropping in to Charlywalker’s Blog! And I so agree with you! I just love people who GET people….

Now pledge your allegiance to: Spread The Humor.

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