Charlywalker's Blog

{March 25, 2011}   Sweep It Under the Blog

I would love to use this forum to air my dirty laundry, however, that would certainly be a sight for the neighbors, plus hanging Spanky and our gang of unmentionables outside the house is against the Home Owner’s Association Rules.

My undergarments are not what is at stake here it is the youngsters briefs I object to.  Why do I have to be privy to someone’s boxers peering out between their shirt and their pants. Is this a manufacturer’s problem with fit and alignment or maybe the growth vs size of the teenager.  At what point in a child’s life do their Osh Kosh By Gosh’s  start to drop with age and their Levi’s lower like a hula hoop down to their knees.

I don’t get why these teens have a yearning to replicate a 1990’s flash in the pan singer’s pantaloons.  I’m talking trousers that Can’t Touch That area that probably needs the most protection and support.  Maybe it’s time to drop the arm & Hammer and get those gangsta designer’s to shrink that material to fit properly. I am tired of the public viewing of airplane prints ascending from the back ends of pre-pubescent bee-hinds. Ohh I see London..I see AIR France….

I have a teen who tried to pull down a fast one with his jeans one day, and I reprimanded him before he reached for the emergency exit in the house.  I asked him “why do the kids have to wear their pants so low nearly below the hip line?”.

He shot back: “cause it’s cool.”

  Oh, yes…I do see the breeze flowing through that rented space which I’m sure is creating a draft in that junk room.

What I recall in my school daze was that if the undies superseded the belt line it was a fair game of Brownie.

So I yanked my six foot offspring up by his Hanes and had enough of his Hanky Panky and decided to show him Hugo’s Boss.  I replaced all his boxers with speedo size Tighty Whitey’s.  That should add a little Diesel to his 3G network.(Quality never goes out of style…….Put that between your Calvin’s.)

I don’t know which sighting  appeals to the eye worse; the boom blasting boxers or the slip of the thong.

Now, I know panties have gotten scanty over the decades, and I have watched them decrease in size since my grandmother’s era, but to nearly disappear and diminish to the range of a rubber band? That I don’t get.  Form vs function just left the building.

One time while doing the laundry I threw my daughters sling shots mistakenly into the dryer and they macrame(d) themselves into a knitted cap.  One thong dropped out during transport and my puppy retrieved it in his canines and rolled on his back using it as a Resistant Band with his elliptical back paws.

  I can’t quite get a grip on this string of a foundation that covers less then the mentionable. I never liked the sensation of something falling through a crack  and being forced to constantly search for a private corner  to get out of a cheeky situation.  When I was a Teen, Thongs were something you wore on your FEET  at the beach, that would Flip-Flop  hot sand  up your ass. And THAT you would dig out later in the corner of the shower as your trailing mud pies….

I guess this is just a sign of the times and a prelude to arriving in our parents jodhpurs.  I’m sure my mother hated when she took me shopping for underwear and  had to pull me away from the bikini table and the rounders filled with Wonder Bra’s. I know it must have been difficult for her to accept the fashion revolution from 100% cotton coverage to 60% frill and lace.  I don’t know how she would deal with my daughter’s skimpy elastic bands that I pull out of the dryer.  She would probably think it’s the dental floss that fell out of her robe pocket.

Oh well just another generational mishap


© charlywalker2010. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links are acceptable, provided that full and clear credit is given to charlywalker with appropriate and specific direction via links to the original content.

Jess Witkins says:

Popped over from Charles’ blog, and this was hilarious! I just read your post aloud to family and we were all laughing! Somehow I think your children didn’t find this as comical as I did.

You can imagine how confused I am. Not having any offspring, nieces and nephews from 3 generations spread around the world, and neighbouring teens cloistered behind technology, my education is sadly lacking. Thank you for Youth 101 today. Perhaps I can soon believe they speak my language.

[…] Charly Walker’s Blog She takes a subject — any subject — and whips it into a frenzy with clever wordplay and breathless observations. I keep telling her these posts could be performed on stage, but she won’t listen. […]

I’ve wondered if teen girls misunderstand their dentist’s admonitions to ‘floss more’, and perhaps that’s why they have such an affinity to the feel of floss between their butt cheeks?

Renee you’re a pistol with both barrels pointed…I love it! Keep the comments coming. LMAO.

Thanks for the visit! and spread the humor.

Have you ever been on stage? Your posts would be wonderful to listen to.

You are too kind, I suffer from stage fright………fearful of falling off and landing in the Orchestra pit.

Thank you for dropping in and Spread the Humor.

James says:

I’ve definitely never operated under the assumption that “baggy britches” (as a lawmaker who tried to make them illegal referred to them) are “cool”. I’ve just always been skinny as hell, so even if I wear a belt, I often end up looking like a 15 year old trying to look cool. 😛

Thank you for stopping by and thank you for your candid comment.

By the way, my son is in the same skinny boat….they do make pants in”slim sizes”….

spread the humor.

Hilarious. Love it Charly. Subscribing now!

Thank you for stopping in…I’ll leave the screen light on for ya!

Phil says:

Funny stuff! Thanks for the laughs. I thoroughly enjoy your sense of humor and love the blog.

Just remember that it’s our job to snicker and laugh at the kids – pretty much the way I’m sure our own parents laughed their tails off at our fashion sense when we were kids. You know – platform shoes, bell-bottomed double knit tuxedos in the pastel color palette, with a crushed velor bow tie big enough to make Bozo the Clown blush. “Oh yes, before you rush off to prom, Mom and I would like to take a few pictures (hehehe)…”

So the moral of the story is to take pictures now – lots of them, and then display them prominently throughout the house when they they have their own kids in the years to come. Guaranteed to make them cringe.

I’d hang around and chat some more, but I’ve got to locate those negatives of prom before my kids get a hold of them.

Thanks Up2! I agree 100%….isn’t that why we had children in the first place? tee-hee..

Oh I have those revenge photos hanging around for those Opportune times..can’t wait to cut & paste….

Thanks for dropping in.
Spread the humor!

The perma-wedgie for girls I will not understand. I do enjoy the sight of a sagging young male who suddenly needs to get across the street in a hurry. Even they can’t think that looks cool.

Hilarious. Too many funny lines to quote one.

Thank you OA for stopping in…..I’ll keep the light on for ya….

gsnewman says:

Thanks for this post,Charly 🙂

Hanson…did you take your medication this morning?

Did Hansen just imply that you were white trash?

BTW, I was tickled with your teen “undy issue”. I spit out my beer I was drinking when I read this: “ while doing the laundry I threw my daughters sling shots mistakenly into the dryer and they macrame(d) themselves into a knitted cap”

Thanks for the laugh.

I believe so…..or he might be bootlegging blog space …..

It’s O.K. I’ll just retreat to my 4400 square foot trailer and wallow in a cappuccino….

Thanks for the patronage lb!

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