Charlywalker's Blog

{June 4, 2011}   Absence Makes the Blog Grow Fonder

Some one saw my blog and made a constructive critical acclaim to the way it looked.  She said that it didn’t have enough “zip” to it and that I “needed to add more ambiance and eye-catching glitter”.  I told her to put down her Rose` colored wine glasses and just try to enjoy the humor of it all.  I happen to like the dark-haired green and black cartoon version of a silhouette that keeps reminding me of what my body looked like twenty years ago.

I haven’t blogged for quite sometime due to the fact that I was actively pursuing some academics that might help me further a career that was lying dormant over thirty years ago.  After getting my fifty-something year old carcass out of bed at 5:00 a.m., and jumping into a sassy saffron uniform with the school logo stitched over my left breast, and downing a cappuccino while racing the other commuters in the dark to board a freezing train that wreaked of diesel and radiated loud gum popping cell phone addicts in the quiet car and after brandishing 29 credits for three months and harvesting sleepless nights, watching the dust and grime host a no swifter party in my house, and neglecting my children ( who barely noticed between their social life and Ipods that I was missing), and, worst of all, forgetting that I owned a dog.

I missed passing a required course by two points in order to continue on with the program.

I thought that if I resurfaced a career I would be helping the family income during these bouts of economic hardships. Instead, I found that my economics were becoming even harder while aspiring to achieve greatness.  After calculating the cost of this venture and weighing the outcome of age vs. job opportunity, while finding myself crying over spilt Martilnelli 2008 Pinot Noir, daily,… and realizing that I am not smarter than a fifth grader,…I decided to do what any normal red-blooded hormonal woman would do:

I booked a trip to Italy.  Isn’t that where all the menopausal misfits run off to during a time of reputable failure? As my neighbor so eloquently put it to me over her lovely pomegranate martini’s: Ah hell, you didn’t want to be a nurse any way..fuck em’.. No truer words spoken out of an elegant pearl clad mouth..

The beauty of this departure from my academic whirlwind is that is brought me back to the basics of what my purpose may be in life. Even though my children are growing and heading into the adult world, they still need me. They have been use to their mother hanging about and being at their beck and call throughout their lives. As much as it appeared that they were fine without me being at the helm, I could see that they were not. They watched as their mother turned into a maniacal obsessed text-book worm letting the responsibilities of the days slip into the abyss. They witnessed mommy breakdown’s from the pressure of not being able to tackle her Medication Math and Calculate with Confidence.  We were a family of a traveling husband, teens in action, a mom running amok, and Charly-dog bearing the brunt and being locked up for hours, alone, in his room, with a night-light and food and water and an August issue of The Enquirer spread out on the floor. There was only so much that Charly could take, and peeing on yesterday’s news was his limit…  I’m sure Charly felt dejected and unwanted until someone came home from their daily activity and he was freed from his laundry room habitat and able to roam the great out doors to relieve himself.

My children are very capable individuals, and that is one trait that I am proud of.  My children will survive in this world and make wonderful lives for themselves with out me in tow.  My dog, however, I worry about.  I think about him when I’m away, I think about his well-being, I think about whether he is tearing up the wicker basket in the laundry room, or has dived into the pile of dirty clothes waiting to be washed and torn into every sock of every family member that has abandoned him for the day.  I think about him possibly sitting in is doggie bed staring at the white walls holding his hind legs with his front paws and rocking back and forth seething and thinking hate barks.

These things weigh on my mind more than one knows, which is why I probably missed passing the school program by two lousy points. But I will say this, when I came home every day and sometimes into the night and opened Charly’s door, I was met with a wide-eyed, waggy tailed, sausage-shaped, tongue licking my face Mongrel that is irreplaceable and doesn’t care if I pass or fail,  only that I returned home.

Sometimes life does funny things to a person, like taking a 4.0 graduate and mashing them into elementary mush making them wrap their entire being around  the word stupid. And sometimes is takes a mangy flea-bag tail-wagger to pull you out of your Picasso Blue period and pounce to a different tune, a tune where you work like a dog and you don’t have a dog’s chance to be a Top dog, so you’re thrown to the  dog’s, only to return with your tail between your legs.

And sometimes you just have to face the inevitable and break open that vintage 1989 Chateauneuf du Pape that has been collecting dust in your wine cabinet awaiting that special dog day afternoon…….

Charlywalker, this piece was GREAT! You’re right too….it ain’t about the “zip” it’s about the writing. This was entertaining, amusing, relateable (is that a word?…I think it is), and damn clever.

I seriously find it amazing that you’re going to Italy. Good for you! I wish I had a way to pull that off.

Oh, Len, Thank you for stopping by, and I am so glad you enjoyed the humor!

I love the silhouette! It lets me pretend my body ever looked like that. And while I’m not a fan of light on dark font for myself, it is how I recognize that I’m *here* right away. I like it, and I think it suits your blog’s personality.

This is a great “back to the real stuff in life” sort of post. We could all use more doses of that very often. So, thanks.

Thank you! I want to write for reading enjoyment. I just hope all can see the funny I try to portray. Thank you for stopping in again and again…

gmomj says:

I think this is great. Your humor is greatly appreciated. You are every woman’s experience.

Your blog design.. for this 50 yr old with poor eyes? Not so great. It’s hard to read. I can’t read other peeps comments. Too fuzzy even with my special magnifying screen. It has to do with the colors. JM2cents. I’m sure for most of the readers it’s fine.

I’m sorry. I too have poor eyesight, I have tried to tone it down. Thanks for the visit!

I really envy your comedic take on life—wish I could share the same perspective! LOL.. “hate barks”… ingenious! 😀

So happy you enjoyed it! I love when people laugh! Thanks for the drop-in..

You have a wine cellar? How bad can life be? 😉

A wonderful read as usual Ms. Walker. (I would call you Charly but it appears that all this time that’s your loving pet’s name)

I hide behind my pooch….. My wine cellar is located in the basement of my mind….

Debbie says:

After providing CEU classes to nurses for 20 years, I can confidently say, you would have been way out of your league. Let me re-phrase:you would have been way out of their league. Way too much wit, way too much humor, way too much Charly! Take a bit of a rest. Italy sounds lovely. 😉

Thanks Debbie..I needed to hear that reinforcement….I kept having a feeling something wasn’t in the future for me that meant returning to the heath field…but I’m stuck as to where to go from here…..if only Blogging could show an income!!!

CW – your blog has class. In addition, your wit is original, well polished and damned funny. Sparkle and glitter are everywhere. It’s hard to find class.

I’ve noticed the same as you. When someone expresses their unsolicited opinion, it’s amazing how often that opinion completely bypasses “who I really am”. Uncanny, actually.

I love people taking a crack at life instead of sitting around crying “if only”. Jolly good for you!

This stint back at school may be just the thing to open a door you didn’t see before. You’ll have far more courage to bang on it now that you have given yourself a good stretch.

A promise – it will be revealed that this has all been a blessing.

Thank you for your kind words…I needed them….Onward and upward as they say….lately I feel more like reclining… I’ve lost some energy in prying that door to loosen its hinges…..I don’t know where I’m headed now…I guess I’ll just Blog-On!

I think this is the best blog ever! Watching dust a no swifter party…hilarious. The whole piece is..and I for one am glad you are back at the key board!!!

Thanks Chris and Phil. Always a pleasure to serve!

Thanks for stopping by again, always nice to see you..well er..HEAR from you….LOL I just hope I can keep to the code: Spread the humor…….

Phil says:

We can all learn a few things from our dogs. You’d be hard pressed to find a creature on earth that loves as unconditionally and is overjoyed to see you each and every day as your faithful companion, through sickness and in health, through good times and in bad; and I don’t mean your spouse…

Chin up Charlywalker (especially at our age)! And if you happen to be in a sharing mood with that wine… 🙂

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