Charlywalker's Blog

{June 4, 2011}   To Drop a blog in One’s Ear…

My daughter’s boyfriend bought an item for me to use on my Puppy. It is something that has been advertised on the late night barkers channel and plastered all over a coupon on the back page of a grocery store flyer. It is a battery operated device that is suppose to control your dogs incessant barking by using high frequency waves that can only be detected by dogs. Or , possibly your sixteen year old son.

This three inch plastic made-in-a-remote-area-of-cheapness, houses a nine volt battery and emits a high frequency sound that resonates every time your dog barks. There are two levels that occur in this cycle of transparent noise: High and Low.

This small appliance is the size of a cell phone and operates up to twenty feet away. It is a remote tool which ends up in various places much like the remote from my T.V. in the family room. My remote for the television has legs because it wanders aimlessly throughout the house. I found a lovely basket to place all the entertainment apparatus which sits atop the coffee table one foot from the couch, which means a mere outstretched- arms -reach could cover the radius of placing the remote in it’s proper place. It is a simple convenience accompanied by simple science, but aggravated by lazy couch potatoes who have a “control” issue. They find it adhered to their palm and it winds up in areas that could possibly never find any reception, like the bathroom, or under the sofa cushion, or God forbid, in one’s suitcase.

Our new “Bark-B-Gone” toy travels with us from room to room as the dog follows clasping his paws over his ears. This little receptive instrument does not give any implication that it is on and working. There is no LED light blinking, there is no sound resonating, there are no beeps , blips, or flashes to insinuate it is in working order. This piece of PETrochemicals just sits and stares into the rooms without focusing on a target, very much like I do at times.

My puppy started his seven o’clock ritual of barking at air and this “bark-no-more” piece of crap did nothing but glare at a wall with its seeing eye glazed over. It wasn’t until I walked over and plucked it from its holster and steadily held it above my pup like a priest holding a cross over Emily Rose that my dog Charly turned his head around and ignored  the “Bark-Never-Again” contraption. And  only then,  did his right ear slowly raise like an antenna on an old Rambler sedan. That seem to have lasted a mere second as he turned his head around and continued his conversation with the drapery patterns.

I had rendered this thing useless until my sixteen year old son came stumbling down the stairs with his palms covering both ears and screaming at me to to “turn off the high pitch sound”.  I managed to quiet the pup yet my son was still holding his head and complaining about the white noise in the room. I told him that Charly is actually WHITE  with black spots.

At that moment I realized my son has a sensitivity to electromagnetic high frequency waves which could cause irrefutable damage to his hearing. (I’m sure his blasting Slipknot and Eminem through his Skull Candy from his Ipod mini at 300 decibels isn’t an issue). I just realized that my son could hear the noise from the mute plastic box that was meant for my dog’s ears. I just realized that he woke up before noon stumbling down to where this little toy box sat on the kitchen counter and utter a nearly complete sentence at me to “shut off that sound, it’s hurting his ears“.

That SOUND that my dog would scoff at and “no one else could hear”, the ad stated……..

I just realized that this $9.99 special from QVC could retrieve my son from farther than twenty paces at a rabbits pace, and the setting was on “low”.

I Just realized I now hold the secret to life. The secret of getting a “teen” up and on time for school in the morning…….


This post is too funny. lol. Those utlra sound things are quite something…I never bought one, I always thought it was going to mess with me and my hearing. smh

Phil says:

Excellent! I used to have a rodent-be-gone ultrasonic device in my attic to discourage squirrels from nesting, but now feel compelled to try one out in my son’s room when he returns from college lest he thinks he can re-establish residency in the house after graduation! Thanks Charly!!!

Are you shopping the HSN??? LOL…. thanks for stopping in again, love hearing your random thoughts!

i was so hoping you would say that gadget works on dogs since my backyard neighbour has one that irritates me every time I sit outside.

Funny thoughts about using it for getting the son out of bed. Then just stand there looking confused. 🙂

I was thinking the same! Personally, I think my dog uses his Ninja mind to out smart the darn thing!! Thanks for the drop in, always a pleasure.

I sense a re-marketing effort by Cheap Electronic Devices, Inc.

The cattle prod could be redesigned too and marketed for use around the home, if you know what I mean. Wink, wink. Or to be more graphic – ;-), 😉

LB! I was thinking of that (cattle prod) , but some readers might report me…..LOL…wink wink… Thanks for stopping in, I hope I made you chuckle.

barb19 says:

Wow, your poor son – but as you say, the gadget could come in handy for retrieving him from secret places! Not sure about your puppy!

LOL..thanks for the drop in.

I empathise with your son, CW. I was at some sheep dog trials years ago, standing by the local newspaper reporter. “Funny,” I said to the reporter. “Those dogs know to wait until the whistle signal is done. They could take the wrong action on half the signal!”

The reporter, an acquaintance, said, “What the hell are you talking about? Only the dogs can hear those whistles!”

Not so…and that was the first I knew that others could not hear the whistles.

Unfortunately, today I have tinnitus which I could certainly do without. And I did not subject myself to loud noises in my younger years because I couldn’t bear it. Rock concerts were out for me.

I reference a lot about my son, without his consent (LOL)… he has heard some of my stories and laughs..which is good. My hearing decreased after I was a flight attendant…sitting in the back between jet engines acting like a woofer & tweeter…. Thank you for the drop in again..I’ll leave the screen light on for ya!

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