Charlywalker's Blog

{June 5, 2011}   Blog Agility (earlier post)

If you are reading this blog AND you find it clever or funny please comment. I need the feedback or otherwise I am wasting my Megabytes.  Speaking of mega-bites, my puppy is still snapping even after two weeks of guaranteed training. I don’t blame the Trainer , I blame my family who are lacking in the follow-up program arena.

My scheduled training of two weeks ended recently and I feel a bit empty inside. Charly-dog and I got use to the trainers 10 a.m. visits and it is hard to let go now. This trainer came into our lives and spent hours with each and every member of my family and worked with all of us as a whole to get Charly on track. I am  starting to have a small tinge of anxiety that once he is out of our lives for good, things will resort to the way they were.  The trainer did drop an anecdote  while sipping his bottled water, that being ;if any “uprisings” occur he will be here on the spot, and this is guaranteed forever.

Hmm.…. I could always find some fault somewhere in my puppy that might need tending to; maybe stage a scene or two…….kind of like the little boy crying wolf, only it’s a middle aged menopausal woman needing someone to talk to other than her doggie…..

I find as I am getting older and less tolerant of my estrogen levels, that letting go is becoming harder and harder. I took my son to the airport to catch a flight from Philadelphia to Los Angeles. He has been bugging me to let him fly out to see his best friend  ever since we moved out to the East Coast. My children have traveled extensively since they were born, but never without me in tow. I have this phobia about my children on  planes without me, what if something happens to that plane; what if there is an outbreak  on board of food poisoning from stale pretzel’s; what if there’s an emergency landing in a Delta swamp; what if  they have snakes on board……or worse yet , Samuel L Jackson  is pushing the beverage cart………”I’ve had it with these Mother F*ckin’ Pepsi’s on this Mother F*ckin’ plane… Tea?….”

My son is 16 and does not qualify for the “unaccompanied child Airline escort” anymore. Plus, there is a $100 hidden  fee for this “Program”. It must fall in line with the “Meal Program” and the “Luggage Program”.   Personally I think they should wave this amount for first time moms letting their youngster fly solo and traipsing through Major City airports spending all their allowance on nonsense that is flagged out in the open Kiosks. ( Oh , yes son, I love the $50 neck snuggie you purchased to keep you comfortable during your flight that you left on board and is now on its way to Hong Kong where it originated from).

My sons flight was delayed over an hour from his connecting flight. I have a party retrieving him at the baggage claim terminal and they phoned to inform me that his flight was going to be late.   I got nervous.   I phoned the Major Airline that starts with a “D” and has been around since the Nixon administration, to find out more information about his flight. The “D” Agent confirmed that it was delayed twice, out of Atlanta.

I spat out; “TWICE?”.

“Yes”,( he said with an accent that was identical to the driver in the second Indiana Jones Movie).

I interrupted his silence with a very loud “WHY TWICE?”.

He enlightened me with the explanation that the first delay was a security issue.

(Oh great,  glow snakes in a Plane Pocket..)


  “Was a maintenance problem”.

 I questioned him further on the maintenance problem and he laughed and told me:

Well the plane is in the air now”.

Oh thank God, that is so reassuring, I am so thrilled, oh, and I feel so relieved and unconcerned that that plane is in the air now! How about the landing??? Please tell me the maintenance problem was a toilet that wouldn’t stop flushing or the Captain’s coffee pot heater light keeps blinking, or the food cart has a rusty wheel…………

I popped open a Dos Equis and brought up my sons Itinerary and  started to track his flight on my Macbook like a Pro. I love technology, it’s almost like being in the control tower yourself, minus all the other distractions, like ten million OTHER flights trying to take off and land.   I went into the “D” Airline WEB site and typed his flight number and it showed a map of the U.S. with a little yellow airplane following a bright blue line to his destination. I felt a little more at ease and managed to breath a little easier…………..

Until this little yellow plane started a nose dive over Arizona….

The time left on his flight was an hour and a half and the meter was not moving, nor was the tiny yellow plane that I was watching for twenty minutes without blinking…

 That little mustard piper cub was not advancing on my screen and I was having the most horrible images run through my mind.  Images of a black smoke plume smoldering from seat 11B because I thought I  had confiscated all the fireworks my son wanted to share with his friend in California. Where they are illegal.….. And maybe, just maybe,  he sequestered a box of black Snake Glow worms that he stuck in his back pocket. I was a flight attendant once and have witnessed plight flights that brought me to my knees saying a few Hail Mary’s while pouring a few Bloody Mary’s……anything’s possible.

I shut the laptop off  and logged back on to the “D” website to commence with stalking my sons flight. His fake plane kept stalling in the air until I clicked the refresh button so it would advance faster to LAX airport.  In a matter of seconds that little yellow cartoon 757 was now starting it’s descent  into Los Angeles with it’s nose in the air and landing in 22 minutes……..Funny if I keep clicking the Back Button that plane just might land on time.

My son loves being independent and Hates that his mother texted him thirteen times before he even left the ground. I can’t wait to tell him about the tracking device….I wonder if they have that for everything…like when he starts driving or is out with his friends at a movie, or maybe, just maybe…on a date.

Yes I love technology it helps a mom sleep at night…….and you thought Big Brother was watching……………hellooo Big Mother……..

You know that people who don’t have children live to 150, don’t you? Some have been known to reach 200. But think of all the fun they’re missing.

I keep forgetting how great your blog is. Then I come back, and within minutes my head is spinning. Keep writing!

Thanks Bronxboy! Nice to here from you! stick around……

I find your blog funny and clever. And I can’t believe I’ve missed out on the puppy stories! My fault, but still!

LOL..thanks for the drop in! This blog actually started with all my Puppy Perils and mishaps and then I ventured out into family & Life…

Hey Charly –

You’re always a pleasure to read and I’ve never not enjoyed a post. What’s better is you always shed humor (not puppy hairs) in to every real life story event I’ve read from you. I love them always. I was blessed to have an awesome worry-wort mother many moons ago when I was your boy’s age. Although it bothered me at the time, I also knew my mom deeply loved me. If your young man only knew you had a GPS injected in to a filling the last time he visited your family dentist you bribed, he would most like not be surprised hahaha. It’s awesome to see you love your boy and he will fully realize your love for him as time goes. Hopefully, he knows this full well already. Funny Girl, Charly. 🙂

Thanks Charlie! hmmm..and thanks for the idea about the GPS Filling…….We may have to dig deep, his dental checks have been top notch, thanks to mom nagging him to brush his teeth!!

SandySays1 says:

Yo Charly, I always enjoy my stops at your blog though I don’t always comment. My human signed a two book deal and that keeps himat the keyboard and me away. Limits my commenting time, darn it. By the kids (and grandkids) can “do it to you!” Last the Geezer’s 16 year old granddaughter flew he was fine with it till 3 college football players escorted her off the plane. He changed her return flight to one with no stops!

LOL..Sandy! Much luck on the book deal! Thanks for dropping by, This was an earlier post when No one was watching..(or reading)…..LOL Thanks for taking the time to read and comment!

I’d be right there with ya my son was on that plane. Currently my son is only 3, but the throught of him being 16 and independant scares the hell out of me! Can’t I just lock him in his room till her turns 30?

I’m trying to get that passed through Congress…..LOL….thanks for stopping in again, always a pleasure!

I thought this was gonna be a boring my kid is awesome look at his pics kind of blog, but when I got to the Samuel L. Jackson and Indy Jones reference I knew this was no ordinary boring blog. I lol’ed and enjoyed your writing, glad I found you…thanks for sharing.

Thanks for stopping in Bassman….I am not your atypical Blog(se) Mom….I wash down Irony pills with a splash of Merlot…LOL I like a twist when I’m raising Cain….. I hope you stay in touch, always a pleasure to entertain…

Don’t give us this much power, CW…you are a great writer. Anyone who can laugh at themselves in the face of abject terror has the ability to stand confidently tall on their own.

Okay, we all love comments. But they can become too important. We have to believe in ourselves. Go for it – no wastage here!

Thank you soul! I spend my whole life laughing at myself…..I take Irony pills to stay strong…..LOL

Phil says:

I realize son might initially protest against you, but in the end, he can only come to love Big Mother… (please tell me his name is not Winston)

Winston…LOL….no……. maybe Marlboro…..

Hello from a fellow mother tracker. I used to go to the movies, sneak in, and sit in the back row when my daughter started going with friends and no parents. I wanted to make sure they got seats together and they were being nice to the boys. (pre-dating years when boys were still kinda icky to them)

Safe travels home for your son.

LOL..mother tracker…..that’s a big ten-four!! Thanks for the visit!

barb19 says:

I agree with Laurie – you are definitely clever and funny Charley – but then I have always thought you were anyway! Your sense of humor is right up my street!
Hope your son survived his plane journey! Big Mother is watching over him!

Thanks Barb! Always a pleasure to have you drop in, glad you enjoyed it!

lauriecag says:

you are clever & funny charly walker – no megabytes wasted here!

Thanks Laurie…please pop back soon!

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