I woke up this morning with a horses head in my bed. I didn’t find myself reacting like Jack Woltz from the Godfather did , who arose in his Egyptian cotton sheets next to his prized Khartoun screaming bloody murder; I woke up with a two inch stuffed head of a Seabiscuit pencil topper dangling by one reign over my face repetitiously neighing: “I’m a little pony” in the same tone that emanates from the Chucky Doll when the batteries are dying…….
Charly-dog brought this Child’s Play to my attention at 5:30 a.m. on a Saturday. I don’t know how he got his canines on a souvenir from a Bat Mitzvah that we attended eight years ago. I don’t know what possessed him to share his discovery with me at the break of dawn, but I do know that there have been many attempts made on my life brought about by my pooch, and maybe this is some kind of final warning……
Maybe it’s a symbol or a for -shadowing of what lies a HEAD on the floor below for me to trip over -and break my neck. Like maybe the pencil end that held the plush memento where an eraser should’ve been……..
I tried to get my dog to relinquish this token of affection(?) that brought back scenes form a 1972 classic, but he held onto it tighter than the Great White clenching onto Chrissie Watkins legs in the opening scene of Jaws. Not even the Jaws of Life would be able to free that stuffed stallion from my dog’s choppers.
My dog Charly, followed me throughout the house carrying that faux foal head around with his jowls seeping saliva that is soaking onto the drool resistant carpet. I know he harbors a subliminal message somewhere under that bobble head of his while he clenches that colt between his Sublingual gland.
I was determined to not let this dog intimidate me into spending the morning worrying about his ulterior motives brought about with his prized possession. He was not going to drive me crazy in thoughts about his future ploys with that stuffed toy head. No way, I am just going to set my chair to the recliner mode and conduct a self Rorschach Test with the cloud formations in the sky until Charly stops grinning at me with that furry fabric stuck in his teeth.
While I was retreating in the back yard reading the Sports page and sipping my coffee, , Charly decided to drop Mr. Ed’s head into my cup of Joe. It took a while to fish him out because a Palomino is hard to locate when you take cream in your coffee……..
Maybe Charly-dog is trying to give me a “Heads up” and pick the winner of the Belmont Stakes…..Maybe Charly is able to channel predictions, and just maybe he is able to label winners. (Although, I don’t recall seeing “Made-in-China“, followed by “Press Here for Sound“, and “Inspected by No. 9“, all winning by a stuffed nose in the Kentucky Derby. I mean, what would be the odds of that?)
I am not a gambling person but if my dog can predict a winner of a Major Horse race I just might have to capitalize on it.
This toy bronco brain that my dog introduced into my bed this morning might be a message of some other nature. Maybe it’s a clue telling me to be on the lookout for the rest of the Horse that could be logistically placed in harms way. Maybe it’s a sign from the clutter- god that my daughters room needs to be excavated again. Maybe the act of a pet pooch offering up a petite padded pony’s head lodged between his lips takes on a symbolic meaning of a deeper fashion.
Maybe he’s trying to tell me that heads will roll if his dog dish is not filled promptly by seven.
Maybe he knows I switched his Flea & Tick remedy to a cheaper brand and he’s looking for retaliation.
Maybe I should stop letting him stay up and watch re-runs on the classic movie channel and just stick to viewing the Dog Whisperer where Charly can enjoy seeing Pit-Bulls rip the heads off of Chi-hua-hua mixed breeds…..
(uh-oh…..now I know where “drop the My little Pony head in my bed” idea came from….)…