Charlywalker's Blog











{June 22, 2011}   Blog Your Brains Out

Let’s talk friendship(s).  My father use to say to me that in your life time you can count on one hand the people that are truly your friends……Excluding family  of course,……. Oh phew….there were probably a lot of fingers flying about within the Von Trapp household….

I think it has to do with how many lives you have touched along the way, I mean touched in a way that has left an indelible mark of remembrance.  My dad also mentioned that you can spark a good presence by the number of attendees at your funeral.  I don’t know how that got calculated being that one is not Soul(y) present to witness the guest book signatures, and I don’t know if that really holds true  if it is based on the total sum of the crowd.  If a high profile figure is laid to rest in a Hollywood cemetery and draws thousands of onlookers, is that anymore redeeming than an unknown soldier.  Does that signify that the “star” of the show touched more viewers through their celluloid hands than one figure who stood alone and gave a life for freedom?

I dunno….let me think……. did a major pop icon who allegedly overdosed on a controlled  substance injected by a member of the AMA……….touch my life in a way that I should consider him one of my candidates for my Friendship hand?   Nope.

 Did some brave unknown soul who fought for our country  and died while doing so to protect our country,…. did they touch my life and are they a candidate for my friendship hand?  Possibly.

The “Star” provided entertainment which we pay for whether we like the entertainment or not. The venue of this art was provided  for our listening and viewing pleasure.  There were a lot of passer-bys at this funeral  who  stood crying how much their life had been touched by this person.

I’m sorry, but that Peter Pan was so out of reach he barricaded himself behind a gate in order to never land too close to the public.  The only time he reached out his white glove was Pay-day after the concert.  Don’t get me wrong, I like music, artists, and entertainment, my position lays  resting on the point my father made regarding “touching lives” and “true friends” in ones’ life.

I mean  think about it….All the folks that visited the final resting place of an Iconic Hollywood star may have felt an intense affinity to this person, but in all honesty…would this person reciprocate even if they could?  I hardly doubt that the King of Pop would phone me up to come over for a Bar-B-Q at his ranch, or call one night to chat about recipes…….  I can’t imagine The Gloved One would throw down his gauntlet and post bail for an unknown or possibly donate what is left of his liver……Oh, but I digress………….

My father also said to keep your enemies close and family is your true friend.  That is true to a point.  I have a sister who once stole my boyfriend away from me behind my back.  It was hurtful and I lost my trust in her, yet to this day we still talk.  Do I trust her? ..Nope.  Do I keep her close?…um..Yep.

I have had hundreds of friends and acquaintances throughout my life and as I slowly ( and I do mean slowly) fight,…er..I mean..face my golden years, I  now find my friendship ring diminishing  down to two hands and one foot.  (I think my father never took the other appendages into account).  I find myself becoming highly selective on who I want around me with whatever time is left on this planet.  I do not have an opening for people that are not relative to my standards of what I consider a friendship to be.

I have a few incredible friends that I could call in the middle of the night and rant about the perils of parenting without repercussion and judgement.  These are folks that would bail me out of any situation with no questions asked and ask nothing in return for their favors.  These are people that would never leave you stranded and  stand by me through outlandish circumstances….no holds barred. These are friends that ask for nothing yet I give them everything, just because they are friends.  These are friends that have engaged in minor battles and yet we manage to come out without a scrape and find ourselves laughing at the tomfoolery over a Tom Collins.  These are people I tattoo on my friendship hand.

I guess standards of friendship vary amongst people, and maybe mine are highly idealistic, but I find when I don’t keep to my “code” some people just take advantage of you. Do I like that?…Nope.  Do I change that?…Yep.

That’s the beauty of aging and harbor hormones that get in the way….I don’t have time for people in wolf’s clothing.  (Well maybe I’d take some time to speak with a Blitzer in a Navy wool Blazer about a situation).  I will not have a friend just for friends sake, I like a valued individual with some depth and character and not centered on themselves for entertainment.

The group of  faces on my fingertips are imbedded indelibly on my friendship hand and I am honored to be able to reach out and touch their lives as much as they have stroked mine.  Do I like that?    Yep.      Do I want to change that?    Nope.

I have now passed on to my children the Handy words of wisdom from my father regarding friends and they  reacted as I did when I thought I was immortal, only they think of friends in terms of  acronym’s like; BFF and BFLS and TTYL….etc.

I guess their access of ridding unwanted friendships is at the touch of the hand and reaching for the DELETE button……..

well that was easy……..

spread the humor.

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Close friends do diminish over time because what brought you close together was something shared at a time of your life when cynicism and mistrust were distant concepts seldom in play.

My close friends have moved away, died or changed to people I don’t recognize anymore. There are lots of people I like but there will never be the bond with them like those before I turned thirty.

I’m okay with that though. My wife fills my social and emotional needs and she has friends out the kazoo. There is also a brother I stay close to. Other than that my life has no real voids that any single person can fill.

At 62 I remain attached to the world through books, my blog and an occasional night out with my wife and children. I’ve led a good life and would change very little I think. But like the song goes, “I wish I knew what I know now, when I was younger.”



Your first sentence says it all……thanks LB….loved Faces…..I could blog about Marriott and my Airline days….but I won’t………would have to change the names to protect the innocent(?)….might have to eat Humble Pie…. Thanks for the drop in!



Phil says:

Excellent post! I always wonder about my kids and their six hundred something odd friends they have on Facebook. Friends are very much like superlatives – not everyone can be the “best” or “most” and pretending they are cheapens the real friendships you have in life. Humor comes in many forms, and this post put a smile on my face. Thanks!



I am so glad I could put a smile on your face..that is my goal…now , that’s one down and 6.5 billion to go….!



You want a good turnout at the funeral…

Two words: Open bar



It’s on my list. No host bar. Plus a cover charge.



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