Charlywalker's Blog

{July 2, 2011}   Any Blog In A Storm

God hates me.  I have been blessed with the sarcastic gene in my family.  All my life I have worked very hard to be compliant and follow suit with the more serious society,……. but I can not stop my eyes from rolling to the Heavens every time I see something that strikes my feather brain fancy.   I’ll need to Iron(y)- out that problem later when I visit the Optometrist…….or possibly a shrink.

I just found out that I have a new hobby that I was totally unaware of  until recently:  I am an avid SPAM collector.  I do not intentionally attract spam, it just seems to coagulate around me of its own choice.  I have located spam sitting on my desktop and now it’s following me to my dashboard.  I think I may have a hard drive ahead to try and avoid this spam that is lining my mega mother (cup)board, or maybe I’ll just have to  Byte the bullet and band with the other network of canned  (s)hams…

I decided to open one of the recurring spams whose label spelled out an invitation of flattery.  I   guess  inside this self contained canned junk are ingredients to saturate the eye sites of people caught up in a web of nonsense.  I think my spam collection really came to fruition when I started  visiting various avenues in order to site see more effectively.  Some of the venues I  managed to stumble across made me absorb the contents and forced my eyes to roll causing an infused  feeling of Ad nauseam.

I also found out that my spam collection is not solely set in a National genre,  it has spread  it’s little spam legs….Internationally as well.  I have collected a lot of Love From Russia which scared the Living Daylights outta me when they headline their specialty spam: For Your Eyes Only………

My spam is compiling on a daily basis and I am starting to wonder if I have a problem.  Maybe I can try to clean my desktop and rid my cluttered dashboard of all the hazardous spam that I have accumulated from different cities.  I thought about setting the spam collectibles on the shelf next to my shot glass collection.   It  could be quite the conversation piece  when I offer  my guests a shot of  International spam to go with their cocktail weenies…

I was just thinking if there might be a spam headquarters that is operated by a head cheese who controls  the outflow of spam.   This product is so amass in daily life,  that I find myself being unable to avoid collecting it.  No matter how many times I empty the spam into the trash it still resurfaces around me and multiplies faster than my sons TI-84 during a Calculus exam….

Maybe I’ll need to join spam anonymous to rid the  addictive cycle that burns hard  and can d(e)rive chaos onto a  pristine dashboard.

Maybe they can get to the core reason as to why I decided this late in life to start collecting spam; or tap into my Blog-havior that  attracts this unsolicited call of doody…  This is a techno ataxia of  a spam-nation. This is a mystery meating  of my desktop  in cohabitation with a special product of Austin Minnesota that is surely out of my control.

Maybe I’ll just have to acquire a taste for spam since it is so readily available….I could top it off with some drudge and a side of crhackers…

Maybe I’ll find something else that tweets my interest so I stop this spam consumption before I hack-n-eye.

spread the humor

skybambi says:

At the risk of spurting out an inarticulate “hahaha”, just wanted to say that this post made me laugh 🙂

Hansi says:

I love Spam, and sometimes allow it on my blog. But alter it and make appropriate, yet highly sarcastic replies, and post that. Great fun! And at the spammer’s expense. My favorite is one I get from Russia or Greece, can’t tell. Not only is it lengthy, but its all written in either the Greek or Russian alphabet, and i can’t make out a single word. I have a field day with that guy.

c’mon on SPAM taste really good. It’s like free fun that comes to you when you are not even expecting it. lol…But I surely hate SPAM myself. It’s just so nasty and slimey and I can’t stand to see it. I can admit some of them give me a good laugh.

I like spam with a side of humor…. thank you for stopping in..I’ll leave the screen light on for you

Oh, wow, this is such an ingenious and original play on words! I’m really liking the subtle IT lingo mixed up with spam (both the edible and non-edible kinds). It sounds like a weird combination, but you made it work 😀

I’m glad you Got it! One day my wordpress acct. had an unusual amount of spam in my INBOX! Needless to say it bothered me. Thanks for the drop in..always a pleasure!

The Hook says:

Hilarious! Great title, too.

Thanks Jackie, I’m glad you enjoyed it!

LOL @ the genes joke. I think we must have had the same fathers on that case:)

Oh Boy I have another brother????? can I borrow your car…

thanks for the drive by!

Phil says:

I do not like Black Eyed Peas and Spam. I do not like them… But your wonderfully sarcastic, caustic, word-spicing made the read quite palatable.

I’d hang around and chat some, but I’ve got to send out some bank account info to a loaded heir of an African Prince who was tragically killed in a revolution, but managed to squirrel away gazillions of dollars unbeknown to everyone, and well, as good fortune would have it, she managed to e-mail me, a man of discretion to quietly park the money in my bank account for a modest finders fee. And then I need to cash in my winnings from three (I know – hard to believe) European lotteries I’ve won. Oh look! There’s a nice little pill that is guaranteed to enhance my er… um… (ahem) male member – woo hoo!!! I might actually be popular AND rich. Well, gotta run now, lots of e-mail to deal with.

Too funny Phil! Good to see you again!

All Spam is good with cheddar, mustard and sour pickles. Oh wait… never mind.

LOL….CAN it lb….LOL…. Thanks for the drop in!

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