Charlywalker's Blog











{November 4, 2011}   Blog Under Water

My teenage is son is trying to kill me.  I believe it has been a slow ongoing scheme ever since he popped out of the birth canal and handed the Dr. the chili peppers I ate that caused the first contraction…..

My son is in his last year of doing time in his posh private school and now faces the drones of filling out college applications.  His High School is aiding and abetting in this procedure and along with the paper chase , they advise the child to visit the colleges of choice to get a “feeling” for the environment and experience the “college” atmosphere.  This is a little too touchy- feely for me.

My parents did not play a major role in our college adventure, unless one needed a phone call to a senator  to help the child with the low GPA to get a “leg-up” onto the collegiate saddle.  ( That wasn’t me).   During my high school  days, a student just filled out the ONE page application with a few recommendations , put a 10 cent stamp on it and held your breath until the rejection letter came…….OR  until the acceptance packet arrived and your parents gleefully packed your belongings and shipped you off to your University  in a foreign land where you would spend the next four years with a roommate from hell, while sleeping in a room that was built for munchkins.

Now the schools “suggest” you take your teen by the hand and “visit” the college they might be attending………..”making sure it’s a “good fit”.

My sons college choices were ( and I stress the word WERE) : The University of Hawaii and any College that offers snowboarding as a credit……

 Right now I am trying to Turn over a new Leaf and not jump to unsolicited temperament and possibly reach for the key to the wine cabinet………..

I decided to take a disciplined approach and research the demographics of his chosen educational destiny.  After careful consideration of calculating the costs of  “visits” to Vermont, Colorado, Maine, and some outback in Michigan in order to obtain grounds for Mastering an  SBA…(Snow Boarding Achievement),…………I opted to send him to his sister’s Apartment Dorm in the Pocono’s.

My daughters University is nestled near mountains, harbors over 40,000 students, and just made history last weekend with a Major Coach’s 409th Football win. Just the kind of weekend you want to send your teen son for a visit…….not.

The one thing I have learned in life is to take it one day at a time and if you are raising teenagers……….. take it  Every minute of the time, or keep replenishing the wine glass……

Firstly: Never,  Ever send a seventeen year old to a University located in a town called HAPPY VALLEY…….especially during the Halloween weekend. My mistake was instructing my coed daughter to show her brother the campus life, the town, the University, the Dean of Students, and possibly, the Admissions Office.

Oh, my son did witness and participate in what the campus had to offer via his hooded- Sister of the Pants  that Traveled between Main street and Frat houses with my son in tow wearing a purple Morph-suit.  He did happen to  make one  very important connection  with some State dignitaries;  a blue man group approached my sons six foot frame encased in spandex and asked him to join their Lycra Fraternity……..Tappa-New-a-Keg….along with their sub chapter…….I-Felta-Thigh…..

When my son returned home that late Sunday night from his fortuitous academic adventure, I  greeted him with a warm smile and  clenched teeth as  I asked him  how his College visit went:

“Awesome Mom,  I’m going there!”

Oh lovely. I am so happy that this visit enhanced your educational choices for your future of academic success in order to meet the challenges that will mold you into the person you have deemed yourself to be.

click and open below…  oh and spread the humor.   

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Cydney Goldman says:

YOu didn’t really protect our identities because our picture is on here…lol. but i loved it!

And just to clear up the frats and sororities here they’re hardly greek life. There is a strict no hazing law here and our greek life does a great job of raising money for organizations.



I will crop the photo to just include him…



LOL That’s so cute. I felta thuigh! Mind you I think they manage TappNewKeg regardless. I’ve never understood that whole fraternity thing. It only exists in the US. In OZ when you go off to UNI (short for university) it’s really just school only bigger. If you live away from home then student digs are pretty basic. There are no frats to belong to. We just find friends to hang out with:) Ya gotta love the USA:)!



yes…I do….LOL….and thanks for the drive by, boys! always great to hear from you!



Phil says:

I’m guessing this wasn’t parent’s weekend and Penn State…

Great Fraternities though, I-felta-thigh and Tappa-New-Kegg? LMAO!

Fear not Charlywalker, all you have to do is send money – often.



Phil says:

First sentence should have read “at” Penn State, not “and”… Duh.



I changed the name of the University to protect the guilty…….



no… we missed that. Thanks for the comments & corrections…



Highly recommend CU @ Boulder. Great school as well as great place



I agree. I hope you got the humor of it all as well….
Thanks for stopping in & taking the time to read.



What a great post!! I couldn’t get the pic to come up!



I just posted another..try again…thanks for the visit!



I was an anti-frat type but had there seriously been one with the name “Tappa-New-a-Keg” I would have been the President.



Thanks LB..did the Picture open at the bottom for you? I had problems with this post.



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