{September 20, 2012}
You Are the Sunshine of my Blog…….
I am honored yet embarrassed because I don’t know what that is….Favorite Color: Green…..the color of money that is lacking in my wallet right now…
{September 12, 2012}
Thrill of Victory and Agony of De-Feet.
I had a big foot sighting.
It was right here in my own home.
I saw it’s hairy extension propped motionless atop a California King mattress. I stood outside the entrance to where this Big Foot was resting it’s size 13 in silence, hoping not to awaken the beast. I haven’t done any research on Big Foot and their nocturnal habits and why they find themselves sleeping until noon throughout their Teen years. I thought about grabbing an artifact from this Big Foot’s Den and poking him to arouse this body that has been Facebooking friends and streaming movies into the dawn.
I decided to approach this non- erectus Homo Sapien from another portal and cut through the adjacent bathroom to get a closer look at this Big Foot. I waded through the natural habitat left behind by this boy beast , Yet I was afraid he might awaken from his stupor and throw harried statements at me. I’d hate to have to Quash that Sass.
I tried to divert my attention to the relics covering his domain and in doing so, I managed to trip over a snowboard washed up on a wave of dirty laundry. It appears this Abominable snowboy is oblivious to the hazards that surround him and does not fear the fungus atop his half eaten sandwich lying on the night stand. This wild boy has many manifestations growing about his man cave. One might attempt to upset the atrocious smelling applecart by, say, grabbing a weapon of mass disinfectant and spraying the underbrush of his prideful dust collection into smithereens. This might cause an unruly effect as this Hairy Hominoid defends his territory from intruders by placing land mines of stray shoes disguised as trip wires upon crossing the threshold of his sleeping lair. This teen -wolf is the boss of his woods.
( Once I tried to move a blockade of unread school books to higher ground where they stood a chance to be saved and returned at the end of the year intact, but I was met with snarls and shouts that could force one to the ground, declaring me to:
“Leave his stuff alone”……. I want them there”.
I am disinclined to acquiesce to his request and overlook his adverbial particle of speech dangling like his lengthy arms…
I retreated from this Skellring of firing words and the Big Foot’s bedroom unscathed by any free-floating bacteria , only to returned at a later time after the boy beast stuffed his Big foot into his designer DC’s and left for school ).
My curiosity climbed as I drew closer to this nocturnal Neanderthal enigma, and wandered to the head that is attached to this Big Foot. I slowly circled the foot of the bedrock and noticed this distinctly human Big Foot with phenomenally long toes that would unconsciously spread while he slumbered. It took great restraint for me not to grab those giant digits and have a round of; ” This little Wookie goes to market…”, but I knew better than to startle the beast with childhood ploys. An action like that would bring this bipedal to his Big Feet screeching his mantra……..”MOOOMMM GET OUTTA MY ROOOOOM!”.
Quietly I reached the head of the beast and witnessed a tuft of stiff black bristle protruding from his shaggy chin. I noted his swarthy matted hair had taken an unusual form from lack of AXE hair products, and the odor penetrating the environment screamed of over usage of cologne the day before.
……..YOWIE.…….he needed a bath.
I did not hover too closely in fear of disturbing the Big Foot. I realized this developing inhabitant likes his tranquil rest and to provoke him would result in this Great Teen Bear to rise and KIKOMBA my ass….outta his room. This Big foot desires solitude from pestiferous parents lurking about their den of perennial inequity. A sleeping hairy big foot does not like to be encumbered with early risings and packing their goods for college.
Well…I’ll show him whose boss of these woods….I’m not gunna take it no MO-MO…..
Never underestimate the power of a MOM and her Cannon sure shot……..right SKOOKUMS???
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