Sweep It Under the Blog

I would love to use this forum to air my dirty laundry, however, that would certainly be a sight for the neighbors, plus hanging Spanky and our gang of unmentionables outside the house is against the Home Owner’s Association Rules.

My undergarments are not what is at stake here it is the youngsters briefs I object to.  Why do I have to be privy to someone’s boxers peering out between their shirt and their pants. Is this a manufacturer’s problem with fit and alignment or maybe the growth vs size of the teenager.  At what point in a child’s life do their Osh Kosh By Gosh’s  start to drop with age and their Levi’s lower like a hula hoop down to their knees.

I don’t get why these teens have a yearning to replicate a 1990’s flash in the pan singer’s pantaloons.  I’m talking trousers that Can’t Touch That area that probably needs the most protection and support.  Maybe it’s time to drop the arm & Hammer and get those gangsta designer’s to shrink that material to fit properly. I am tired of the public viewing of airplane prints ascending from the back ends of pre-pubescent bee-hinds. Ohh I see London..I see AIR France….

I have a teen who tried to pull down a fast one with his jeans one day, and I reprimanded him before he reached for the emergency exit in the house.  I asked him “why do the kids have to wear their pants so low nearly below the hip line?”.

He shot back: “cause it’s cool.”

  Oh, yes…I do see the breeze flowing through that rented space which I’m sure is creating a draft in that junk room.

What I recall in my school daze was that if the undies superseded the belt line it was a fair game of Brownie.

So I yanked my six foot offspring up by his Hanes and had enough of his Hanky Panky and decided to show him Hugo’s Boss.  I replaced all his boxers with speedo size Tighty Whitey’s.  That should add a little Diesel to his 3G network.(Quality never goes out of style…….Put that between your Calvin’s.)

I don’t know which sighting  appeals to the eye worse; the boom blasting boxers or the slip of the thong.

Now, I know panties have gotten scanty over the decades, and I have watched them decrease in size since my grandmother’s era, but to nearly disappear and diminish to the range of a rubber band? That I don’t get.  Form vs function just left the building.

One time while doing the laundry I threw my daughters sling shots mistakenly into the dryer and they macrame(d) themselves into a knitted cap.  One thong dropped out during transport and my puppy retrieved it in his canines and rolled on his back using it as a Resistant Band with his elliptical back paws.

  I can’t quite get a grip on this string of a foundation that covers less then the mentionable. I never liked the sensation of something falling through a crack  and being forced to constantly search for a private corner  to get out of a cheeky situation.  When I was a Teen, Thongs were something you wore on your FEET  at the beach, that would Flip-Flop  hot sand  up your ass. And THAT you would dig out later in the corner of the shower as your trailing mud pies….

I guess this is just a sign of the times and a prelude to arriving in our parents jodhpurs.  I’m sure my mother hated when she took me shopping for underwear and  had to pull me away from the bikini table and the rounders filled with Wonder Bra’s. I know it must have been difficult for her to accept the fashion revolution from 100% cotton coverage to 60% frill and lace.  I don’t know how she would deal with my daughter’s skimpy elastic bands that I pull out of the dryer.  She would probably think it’s the dental floss that fell out of her robe pocket.

Oh well just another generational mishap

going..going…….Thong.

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